My growing list of “can’ts” is disconcerting.
- · Can’t focus on more than one thing at once. Can’t walk all the way through Ikea. Or Target. Or the mall. Or even Trader Joe’s.
- · Can’t go to a theme park for the day.
- · Can’t hike. Or sight-see. Or even snorkel.
- · Can’t remember what I meant to do/who I meant to call/ what I meant to tell someone.
- · Can’t garden/do housework/move around much for more than 15 minutes before I need a nice long rest.
- · Can’t drive very far without feeling awful.
- · Can’t work at the job I love.
- · Can’t stand for more than a minute or two (don’t know why, but it’s harder than walking).
- · Can’t remember words sometimes, heartbreaking for this girl, one who loves language.
Oh-so-easy to focus on those things, those “can’ts” that weigh down like the lead weights I feel like I’m carrying every time I move, the fatigue that pushes down on me like hyper-exaggerated gravity.
Again, in my time with Him (a great blessing that is part of this season of challenges), God realigns my thinking and reminds me of all the “cans” I should be holding onto.
- · I can be present here and now with my family and have those “simple” conversations with them that wouldn’t happen if I was in my “normal” life.
- · I can learn, as the apostle Paul, to be content in all circumstances.
- · I can, again like Paul, do all things through Jesus’ strength.
- · I can trust that He knows the plans He has for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans for a hope and a future. Words spoken by the prophet Jeremiah to a people in captivity that ring true to this grounded sparrow’s heart today. He knows.
And so you have it; I have my list of “can’ts” and my list of “cans.” Where I focus my time and energy is up to me, my choice. So I choose to hold on to Him, the One who is more than able to do immeasurably more than I can ask or imagine. He can. Even when I can’t.