Looking at a blinking cursor, an empty screen, I take a deep breath, trying to contain my excitement.
I shared in last week’s blog that my health is improving under the care of my new doctor and I am now looking at options that seemed to be completely out of the question not so long ago.
It’s been, in many ways, like climbing a mountain. (I know of which I speak, because I used climb actual mountains.) I feel like I’ve been living in a smoggy valley, hazy and indistinct, for so long. And now as I climb, as I work through the new treatments and new supplements, new lifestyle changes, it seems that I am gaining altitude, rising above the smog and muck. I feel like I’m drawing clean, clear, unpolluted mountain air into my lungs after inhaling sludge for what seems like forever, breathing deeply and fully for the first time in a long while. I am beyond grateful.
But. Why now? I’ll take it, of course, with deepest, humblest thanksgiving. But the questions still nibbles at the back of my brain: why now? What does that mean for us?
There’s a phrase that resonates over and over in scripture: “At just the right time, God…” Throughout the Old and New Testaments, God acts, He does something, at just the right time. Not early, not late, and not according to human ideas of good timing. But at just the right time.
At just the right time, God allowed my health to remove a stressful (but beloved) career from my life. At just the right time, God allowed us to move to new place. At just the right time, God sent me to a new doctor, one who would put me on the path to physical recovery, a thing I didn’t expect at all. Because so many doctors had told me there was nothing to be done. That this was my life.
But at just the right time, God had other plans. And I trust that this next wacky left-turn, one of many that has marked my life, is actually turning me back to a place I’ve seen before. Not like taking a step back, but like reuniting with an old friend.
The huge number of possibilities, the ways I could spend myself and my energy threatened to spin me out entirely. But after praying over the next steps since the very day it occurred to me (post caffeine withdrawal headache) that I was feeling better, REALLY better, I may see a glimmer of what the next piece might look like.
At just the right time, 12 years ago, mama of a 5th grader and 2nd grader, I began substitute teaching. And at just the right time, recovering from a chronic illness and needing flexibility, mom of a gainfully employed young adult and a college sophomore, I will start substitute teaching part time this fall, two time zones from where I started, but so very excited to pour into young people again.
At just the right time, God. I take a deep breath and smile. His best is reflected in His timing. Something I am learning more and more.