A typical piece of my morning routine, I scrolled through my email inbox in my yoga pants and t shirt, rehydrating after my morning yoga practice. Not that I don’t wear yoga pants when I’m NOT doing yoga. But that’s another story for another day. I opened an email from one of my favorite ministries, a blog post penned by one of my most-admired writers and ministry leaders, looking forward to some of the encouragement that these blog posts always provide.
And then my stomach dropped.
As I scanned through the post I recognized so many of the same themes that I had recently spent hours putting into words on my laptop, pouring out what God was putting on my heart. And there they were, staring me down, written by someone famous, someone with a platform of millions, someone who already wrote them into a book. A book I had hoped to write and she had, unbeknownst to her, beaten me to the punch.
Like a tidal wave crashing over me, I was flooded with the feeling that all I had done/felt/said/written was for nothing. Irrational ranting coursed through my brain: anything I would put out would be compared to hers, people would wonder if I had taken ideas from her work, no one would read me when they could read her, since she’d already said it (and said it far better than I), I should just stop entirely and realize I would never be anything… I choked back a sob. Tears, stinging my eyes, would not be held back. Good thing it was pre-makeup and shower. Deflated and defeated. I was so sure this was the path I was to follow, that God had put this topic in my heart and it had poured so easily from my fingertips, and I had been chomping at the bit to continue- there was so much more to be added! And then it somehow felt as though it was pulled out from under me. My soul sighing deeply, somehow raggedly, I deleted the email and pushed back from my desk.
Then an hour or so later, showered and made up I sat down to my daily portion of the Word in 1st Timothy and Titus. And there it was. “at just the right time, Christ will be revealed…” “at just the right time, God revealed His message…” “at just the right time…” That phrase echoed around my brain. God had orchestrated all of history for “just the right time” for His Son to come, for His message to be preached. At just the right time.
It’s so hard when it seems like the perfect time to us and it’s just not. Maybe you’ve had that stab of disappointment, too, that longing for the waiting to be done now and it to be your “at just the right time.”
As hard as it was to see that “my idea” had already been taken, isn’t it more than possible, likely, in fact, that God will use the message He is birthing in me “at just the right time?” Now may be the time for her blog and her book but my “just the right time” will be when God decides it is, not just for this writing, but for all my writing, any speaking or ministry he has planned for me. So I will wait. And I will write. And I won’t “get tired of doing what is good.” My God is faithful, to me and to you, my sweet friend.
It will happen “at just the right time.”