There are those times, those moments, those days that change all things forever. Sometimes they only slip into clarity with the benefit of hindsight. Sometimes they catch you unaware in a moment unanticipated. Sometimes you can see them coming toward you in the distance, closer and closer, sometimes with a sense of great anticipation, sometimes with great trepidation, sometimes with a tangled combo of both.
Today, in a few hours, will be one of those times. Today we move Grace into her dorm.
Monumental and mommy-heartbreaking enough on it’s own, right? But, wait, there’s more! She won’t be back here to this home, this place shared as a family for all these years, before we move to our new home in Texas. This morning will be last time our family of four is under the roof of 6107 Belfield Circle together.
For sixteen plus years this home has born witness to the many ages and stages and changes in our two now-young-adults. Holidays, laughter, ridiculousness on every front, tears, science experiments, cooking experiments, fashion experiments, workouts and illness, fights over nothing, Pokemon, sidewalk chalk art all over the back patio, backyard pools and swing sets long-ago dismantled, family gatherings and noisy groups of teenagers playing Rock Band for hours. Home. And a wonderful home it has been.
This is just another step in the untethering, the moving to something new, the pivot of life, inevitable but unsettling, as kids grow up and (as we want them to, as they must) move into the next phase. I am looking at this with that tangled combo of anticipation and trepidation, knowing ALL of these things are for our best, loving what we have had, and more than a sliver of sadness over what will no longer be. So I will wide a wave of emotion today, sometimes being pretty okay, genuinely smiling, happy and excited for our girl’s new adventure, sometimes unable to hold back the tears, embracing the tangle of emotion an hope.